Author: <span class="vcard">Isaac Eriksen</span>

One of the best things you can do for a friend who is domestically-abused is to be with her as many times as you can, especially when she is alone. You can even take up several activities together. Here are three that can help her forget the pain – even if only for a few hours.

1. Bake a Cake, Decorate a Room, or Color Adult Coloring Books

Take up a creative activity with her. If she likes baking, the two of you can spend at least two times a week baking her favorite cake or cookie recipe. After baking, you can sit down for an afternoon tea and cake chit-chat. Or you can sell the baked goodies to family and friends! This will make her feel comfortable and wanted. You can also decorate or renovate a room. Coloring is also a therapeutic activity. Try to bring a good adult coloring book that the two of you can work on.

2. Invite her to try a new sport.

Try to encourage her to get into sports with you. You don’t need to go to the field or the gym. Find a sport that you can do at home or in the backyard. Chess, badminton, and table tennis are good options. Schedule your days for sports; the best times will be when your friend would be all alone in the house. She becomes most vulnerable when she is alone, and everything is quiet.

3. Start a project with her.

It can be a home project, like a room renovation. It can also be a community project, like a small theater arts group or a fundraising activity for domestically abused women. If your friend likes to write, maybe the two of you can start writing a book or novel. Any project that requires your friend’s time and attention will be a big help.

If your friend or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, the best thing you can do is to stay by her side. Do not leave her alone. Do not make her feel unwanted. Check out this list of things that you can do to help your friend or family member, or anyone who is a domestic violence victim.

1. First things first; find time to talk to your friend.

Schedule a day for the two of you to sit down and talk. Honestly talk. Choose a place where you can have utmost privacy. Also, if you want to bring someone along, ask your friend’s approval first. Domestic violence victims are extra sensitive.

2. Be honest and tell your friend how you feel.

Let your friend know that you are worried about her because you care for her. Give her a clear picture of her situation, but do this gently. Choose your words carefully. Of course, do not forget to tell her you want to help in any way that you can. If you can, specify what help you are willing to give her (aside from being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen).

3. Be an open ear. Listen well.

Be the ear your friend has long been looking for. Listen to her closely. Listen to her and do not butt in while she is talking. Listen deeply to everything she is telling you. Doing this will help you understand better how she feels and what she is going through.

4. Plan with her.

Help your friend come up with a plan that she can execute before the next attack happens. Some of the things that need to be done include packing her things, preparing the children, and looking for a place to go to (one that the abuser won’t easily find).

5. Start a hobby or sport with her.

If your friend is not yet prepared to move out, you can help keep her stable and safe by taking up a hobby or a sport with her. You can play video games or take up coloring. You can play badminton or learn how to play chess. Doing something with her will give her a feeling of being wanted.

6. Assure her that you’ll never leave her.

Let your friend know you’ll always be ready when she needs you. That you’ll always be there for her.

Over the years, various groups, organizations, and programs have been set up to help put a stop to the global problem of domestic violence. While there are countless successes already, there are still a lot of things that need to be done to eradicate the problem completely. The first thing we all need to do is to learn to identify domestic abuse victims, especially since most of them would often are too afraid to speak out.

Signs That a Person is a Domestic Violence Victim

Here are some of the most important warning signs of domestic violence:

1. Non-Physical Signs

• The victim may decide to stop working (or going to school). In other cases, she may frequently be late for work, meetings, family events, and other similar functions. Some victims may even prefer to be isolated and alone most of the time. Many of them hide in their bedrooms and refuse to go out of the house.
• The victim suddenly develops low self-esteem, never mind if she was a happy and confident person a few weeks earlier. A person who is domestically abused feels worthless and powerless.
• The victim gets anxious easily, especially during arguments or conflicts. This is a result of her powerless feeling.
• The victim usually develops a passive-aggressive behavior. This happens even in simple situations like cooking for dinner or completing a household task.
• The victim blames herself for everything that is going wrong. This is true even when someone is simply relaying a story to her. She’ll take the blame for something that happened to someone, even if she was not there when it happened.
• The victim is perpetually stressed. She finds it difficult to sleep, eat, and socialize. She has recurring aches and pains (stomachache, headache, etc.).
• Depression is a natural thing for her.

2. Physical Signs

These are the injuries types that are common in domestic violence victims.

• Facial bruises or cuts and fractures.
• Ruptured eardrum.
• Broken or loose tooth.
• Bruises or scraped on the arm, on the body, on the neck, and on the head.
• Rectal/genital injury.

Most of the injury areas can usually be covered by clothing.

3. Other Signs

There are other signs that are non-physical and non-medical, such as:

• Cigarette burns.
• Welts (with an outline of whatever was used, i.e. belt buckle, frying pan, etc.).
• Bruises all over.
• Bite marks.